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Enter Poem or Quote (Required)Required Ladies, is your man wayward when he has his vertical tinkle and is the toilet seat down? And isn't it time someone stood up and spoke up against standing up because of this problem's renown? The toilet seat dilemma — up or down — which should it be and can a marriage survive if two can't agree? I've thought long and hard about this being careful to think things through both from his and her point of view realizing he likes to stand two out of every three times and only on the third will he take his pew She likes to sit on every occasion and needs the base of the seat down on the loo Factoring in how women use the toilet on average six times more a day than men* which is approximately nine times a day it soon became clear the seat would need to be up only two out of nine times assuming a man's aim was astray If it wasn't astray then the seat could always be down but alas, we all know how men like to clown Of course a man's aim might be improved and the aperture widened lessening the woman's need of cleaning up after him but the risk will always remain of her failing to see his yellow mark left on the rim Pondering deeply one day in the very room of contention I exclaimed 'Eureka!' and not because anyone reeked but because of discovering the answer I had seeked Men are naturally lazy, so why do they stand? Why don't they sit and be sure where they land? *don’t they always seem to be in the bathroom? ### from David’s book Poems for Wedding Receptions & Poems Definitely NOT for Wedding Receptions!
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