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You wanted me You were relentless in your pursuit But we had been friends for a while and, to be honest, I wanted it to stay that way. Yet, you wanted more. Whenever you brought up “US” I would change the subject Remember the conversations we’ve had… I was saving myself for the one I would marry I had always felt that way But life became complicating and I lost sight of that, one piece at a time. I went in search of my self I had to go back to the place where pain lived and face memories, contending for the pieces of myself I had lost It was a place where time does not exist A place without dimension where records of eternity were stored My very bruised heart at the center of it all But my hope was restored This time I won’t let it go. I had made an oath to God and to my self I had put sex on the shelf I would not defile my body henceforth I told you everything – the good, the bad, and the wicked ugly I had known many men But I had never known love I’m talking true love Spend-the-rest-of-my-life-with-just-one-mate-type-of-love Walk-down-isle-to-the-altar-before-man-and-God-and-bind-myself-with-an-oath-kind-of-love. I know such love is real but I have yet to experience it I know it exists because I’ve witnessed it in the lives of others And it is beautiful to behold. I thought you would turn and run upon learning this Many others have But you stuck around So I warned you I came with a caution label Count the cost before getting involved with me I am a complex and profound woman I’m independent, moody, and need my space I’m tall, outspoken, and hate injustice I’m not neutral and I hate complicity and will call out the compromised A lot of men thought they could reinvent me, and failed A man must lead I will not submit to weakness but to vulnerability A truly confident man doesn’t have to prove anything. His presence alone carries weight but he has perfected self restraint A man has got to have character He should be like a lion, and know how to rule his own home He should have vision like an eagle and strive for the high places so that he may see the bigger picture and warn others And above all, he must love the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit I see myself submitted before such a man Don’t clip my wings I told you these things And you stuck around So I gave us a chance We kissed and held hands I thought it was beautiful And I thought you did too. Until you complained that things weren’t evolving as you expected Restless and discontent, you complained that you’re your balls were blue, and ached Hoping I would Take up the false responsibility fix it That is not what this is all about After everything I shared with you You knew my life story I fileted my soul and invited you to my inner world You got insight into the deep You had front row seats into the movie of my past I took your hand in mine and led you through chambers of things better left forgotten You turned freedom into obligation And created a chasm between us and expected me to figure out how to cross over it You inverted our relationship And tried to gaslight me You failed to realize that I have dealt with hundreds of men just like you I had to fight to know my worth It was hard to rise above the pressure of putting out. They all left when I said no Every last one of them Only I remained And God I've been through hell and back, and not even sulfur can be smelt on my clothes But I do have scars They are the scars that bear witness to battles I’ve fought and won I’ve been forged in the fire I am a warrior “How about this…” I suggest “Go take a cold shower.” And you took offense in that! But you lied to me You got yourself aroused You want all the benefits of marriage without making the vows You resorted to watching **** The volume muted on your phone And thought I was stupid Shouldn’t I have been the one offended? As a little girl I dreamt of marriage and true love Not fulfilling the duties of a wife with a boyfriend I was innocent Incapable of dreaming that I’d have to settle and play house with someone I’d never marry I had my fair share of heartache Promiscuity disappointed me It was an illusion that i tried to make real But all I got was disillusioned I gave the best years of my life to compromise But those days are gone Nothing could convince me to go back Not now I remained faithful to my vow I can’t tell you how glad I am for doing it I would have hated myself If I gave in to your pressure After it was all said and done it would have been too late You would have got the one thing you wanted and I would still be unmarried But… I didn't sell out I know that my body is a temple Even if I was to live my remaining days Set apart I will remain faithful to my oath Knowing the treasure I possess.

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