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Twas the night before Christmas in Jamaica, Queens,
I was out shopping in my Jordache jeans.
The last minute shoppers were out in full bloom;
The buses and trains were packed with no room.
Money was flowing like a glass of iced tea;
The weather is cold--so let's make it coffee.
I didn't have much time to shop till I drop.
I had to buy gifts for Mom and Pop:
My sisters, my brothers, my aunts and nieces;
My brother and sister-in-law--I'm falling to pieces!
My uncle, my nephews, and also my wife,
Who happens to be the love of my life.
I arrived at the mall with only one mission:
Buy the gifts and get out without collision.
This is what shopping is all about:
Get in, get the gifts, and get the heck out.
Does this man have enough power
To complete this task in less than an hour?
I'm inside the mall, and what did I spy?
There were really groovy things to buy.
There is a PlayStation 4 and video games,
A totally awesome DVD movie called "Fame";
The soundtrack to "Kim Possible" and "That's So Raven";
And a funny musical called "Still Misbehavin'".
There are remote control trucks and cars;
Seasons 1 & 2 of "Veronica Mars";
Brand new clothes and a camera phone;
Time's running out! I must hurry home!
I grabbed a cart and breezed through the aisles;
Because this task will take a short while.
The shopping was done, but there's one thing to do:
Pay for the stuff and I'm finally through.
The lines were getting longer; my vision was blurry,
I had to get out of the mall in a hurry.
There was a shorter line--what a relief!
I told you this task would be very brief.
I drove away with the gifts in my car,
Paid in full, and ate a chocolate bar.
Now listen to me as I disappear:
Merry Christmas to all, and a Happy New year.
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