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Posted by Mona Ebel on 10/15/2025 5:51:07 PM

Good Morning Haiku

I love the mornings
That is the best time to rise
The purest part of day.

I’m an early bird
No one else is awake yet
I smell my coffee

The quiet of mornings
Is when I'm most connected
A sacred time for me

I wake it’s still dark
I feel refreshed and ready
And kiss morning’s cheek

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Replies

Comment by Florin Lacatus on 11/5/2025 11:31:38 PM

This poem stands at the gate of something luminous. It feels like a prayer whispered before thought returns. But to rise higher, it must dare to bruise its own calm: to let even morning’s perfection carry the scent of yesterday’s sorrow. Do not write the light that shines. Write the one that trembles. And that is what these haikus are waiting for: not a correction, but a heartbeat.

Comment by Florin Lacatus on 11/5/2025 11:31:13 PM

“The quiet of mornings / Is when I’m most connected / A sacred time for me.” This stanza speaks the heart’s truth, yet it tells more than it reveals. “Connected” is an abstract word, it could mean connected to God, to the self, to time, to breath. The reader needs a thread of image to hold. Try replacing abstraction with a metaphor: something sensed, not declared. The quiet kneels down, and I kneel beside its breath we share the same pulse. See how “connection” becomes physical, embodied, shared with silence itself. “I wake it’s still dark / I feel refreshed and ready / And kiss morning’s cheek.” This one glimmers. “Kiss morning’s cheek” is a tender, innocent image, yet it leaves too soon. It could end the sequence with a quiet epiphany, if you give it a shadow to contrast with. Maybe something like: Still dark, the air hums. I rise from the night’s long dream and kiss morning’s cheek. Or deepen it with a trace of melancholy: Dark still clings to me. I kiss morning’s fragile face hope tastes like goodbye. That last version transforms sweetness into revelation: the awareness that light always costs us something.

Comment by Florin Lacatus on 11/5/2025 11:28:32 PM

Let me take them one by one: “I love the mornings / That is the best time to rise / The purest part of day.” This opening feels declarative, almost essay-like. It tells me what the poet believes, not what the poet sees. The phrase “purest part of day” is beautiful in thought, but vague in image. Suggestion: let purity manifest through a single sense. Show me something untouched: the coolness of the air, the whiteness of the sky before thought returns. “I’m an early bird / No one else is awake yet / I smell my coffee.” The first line risks cliché. “Early bird” belongs more to speech than to poetry; it steals mystery away from a moment that deserves stillness. Instead of naming the role, show its loneliness, its gift.

Comment by Florin Lacatus on 11/5/2025 11:25:44 PM

There is sincerity in these verses : a clear, untroubled sincerity, like a glass of water left on the windowsill overnight. But poetry, especially haiku, must make even that glass tremble. It is not enough to love the morning, one must feel how it burns and cools inside you at the same time. Each haiku here touches on something essential: light, silence, coffee, awakening, yet they float separately, as if they were four postcards from the same landscape. I would urge the poet to think of them not as fragments, but as stations of the same revelation.

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