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Tis true of courage I'm no mistress No Boadicia nor Thalestriss Nor shall I e'er be famed hereafter For such a Soul as Cato's Daughter Nor active valour nor enduring Nor leading troops nor forts securing Like Teckley's wife or Pucell valiant Will e'er be reckonded for my talent Who all things fear whilst day is shining And my own shadow light declining And from the Spleen's prolifick fountain Can of a mole hill make a mountain And if a Coach that was invented Since Bess on Palfrey rode contented Threatens to tumble topsy turvy With screeches loud and faces scurvey I break discourse whilst some are laughing Some fall to chear me some to chaffing As secretly the driver curses And whips my fault upon the horses These and ten thousand are the errours Arising from tumultuous terrours Yet can't I understand the merit In Female's of a daring spirit Since to them never was imparted In manly strengh tho' manly hearted Nor need that sex be self defending Who charm the most when most depending And by sweet plaints and soft distresses First gain asistance then adresses As our fourth Edward (beauty suing) From but releiving fell to wooing Who by Heroick speech or ranting Had ne'er been melted to galanting Nor had th'Egyptian Queen defying Drawn off that fleet she led by flying Whilst Cesar and his ships crew hollow'd To see how Tony row'd and follow'd Oh Action triumph of the Ladies And plea for her who most afraid is Then let my conduct work no wonder When fame who cleaves the air asunder And every thing in time discovers Nor council keeps for Kings or Lovers Yet stoops when tired with States and battles To Gossips chats and idler tattles When she I say has given no knowledge Of what has happen'd at Wye College Think it not strange to save my Person I gave the family diversion 'Twas at an hour when most were sleeping Some chimnies clean some wanted sweeping Mine thro' good fires maintain'd this winter (Of which no FINCH was e'er a stinter) Pour'd down such flakes not Etna bigger Throws up as did my fancy figure Nor does a Cannon ram'd with Powder To others seem to Bellow louder All that I thought or spoke or acted Can't in a letter be compacted Nor how I threatn'd those with burning Who thoughtless on their beds were turning As Shakespear says they serv'd old Prium When that the Greeks were got too nigh'em And such th'effect in spite of weather Our Hecuba's all rose together I at their head half cloath'd and shaking Was instantly the house forsaking And told them 'twas no time for talking But who'd be safe had best be walking This hasty councel and conclusion Seem'd harsh to those who had no shoes on And saw no flames and heard no clatter But as I had rehears'd the matter And wildly talk't of fire and water For sooner then 'thas took to tell it Right applications did repell it And now my fear our mirth creating Affords still subject for repeating Whilst some deplore th'unusual folly Some (kinder) call it melancholy Tho' certainly the spirits sinking Comes not from want of wit or thinking Since Rochester all dangers hated And left to those were harder pated.
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