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September The First Day Of School

 I

My child and I hold hands on the way to school,
And when I leave him at the first-grade door
He cries a little but is brave; he does
Let go.
My selfish tears remind me how I cried before that door a life ago.
I may have had a hard time letting go.
Each fall the children must endure together What every child also endures alone: Learning the alphabet, the integers, Three dozen bits and pieces of a stuff So arbitrary, so peremptory, That worlds invisible and visible Bow down before it, as in Joseph's dream The sheaves bowed down and then the stars bowed down Before the dreaming of a little boy.
That dream got him such hatred of his brothers As cost the greater part of life to mend, And yet great kindness came of it in the end.
II A school is where they grind the grain of thought, And grind the children who must mind the thought.
It may be those two grindings are but one, As from the alphabet come Shakespeare's Plays, As from the integers comes Euler's Law, As from the whole, inseperably, the lives, The shrunken lives that have not been set free By law or by poetic phantasy.
But may they be.
My child has disappeared Behind the schoolroom door.
And should I live To see his coming forth, a life away, I know my hope, but do not know its form Nor hope to know it.
May the fathers he finds Among his teachers have a care of him More than his father could.
How that will look I do not know, I do not need to know.
Even our tears belong to ritual.
But may great kindness come of it in the end.

Poem by Howard Nemerov
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Book: Shattered Sighs