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My somewhat outsize ears and longish neck 
(I swear exist, which contrary to popular myth 
never seen by living persons) support this egg shaped 
(fried or scrambled some might argue) head.

A mostly flat and hairless chest attests to a regular 
regimen of light (self-concocted) chest-pounding routine. 
Exercise (as well as meditation) a vital part of my 
daily program to deal with the ordinary stresses 
of primitive existence. Coffee happens to be the 

sotto voce sole vice, which exotic brews provide 
helpful jump-start. I sometimes even chump on cup 
kept teeth sharp. That unproductive habit came 
to a screeching halt after breaking every pearly white.

Now to that locale known as the trumpeting rump 
pull stilts skin. Although the unseen forces of biology 
and genetics dealt me an itsy bitsy, tiny tushy 
(which serves as the but for fellow Apes to taunt 

and tease) such anatomical feature offers little 
value as the worthiness of sexual prowess. 
This palm pilot sized gluteus Maximus offers one benefit. 

Ease to squeeze into tight spaces without getting stuck. 
This tiny tushy accompanied by a vestigial and 
teeny-weensy Weiner schnitzel of a phallus, which 
undersized cock a doodle do doth bulge into 

an erectile state within shooting distance of 
coveted warm, wet and wooly private world 
property of each and every woman.

A pair of skinny (flamingo like) legs (covered in 
adequate hair) now completes this general character sketch.

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