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Thousands of people know us, but we don’t know them.
It’s kind of nice to be known, but not quite recognized.
We have the kind of job that keeps us well hidden.
When people see us is in person, they may be surprised.

Early in the morning is the most fun for us.
That’s when we tend to be at our absolute best.
Several donuts and lots of coffee are a must.
With so much to prepare, it’s hard to get any rest.

The first thing to do in turn on the microphone,
Then run through the checklist of the day’s events.
We record a few promos while we’re in here alone.
It’s good the days of clear tape were way back when.

We make a few mistakes…no one said this was easy.
But once we lay it down, no one will ever know.
When we open up the phone lines, it gets quite busy.
We’re still not sure why people listen to our show.

We may forget that there are listeners out there.
Most of the things we talk about are just for us.
It’s amazing what people will say when on the air.
We have our hand on the buzzer in case they cuss.

Every now and then, we’ll give you a traffic report,
Or maybe tell you a little bit about the weather.
Some people call us to see what’s up with sports,
But most of the time, it’s just me and my partner.

Some days we go out and about through the town
For a chance to give away prizes and meet our fans.
Most of you people are either stalkers or clowns.
You scare the hell out of us, so we hide in the van.

Back in the studio, we’re safe from your point of view.
We’re here mostly for our own enjoyment and fun.
Just listen to our witty banter and be amused.
We know you’re a prize pig and you’re not the only one.

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