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Personal Note:

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Poem

It always starts the same
a fairy tale
first child
second child
It
you didn't even want to see him
let alone give a name
I did
you vanished
sleepless nights submersed in days
hours became a battlefield
we stood against over 20 armies
they had a name
and classification
one life got cataloged
yet destitute of any record
as no one ever took his picture

nameless
faceless
less human

for the rest of them he turned to less
but mine
he was my silver shoes

first years were a laugh
then electrical storm
aimed his metal hat
and cry whispered
- something is wrong

they put him in great blackness
and told me how the roads to that core were misplaced

but he wasn't
he was just in the right place

my little tin man

countless times shrunken metal heart stopped
so I lend him mine
and became his breath
sight
touch
I've tried to overlay him
as there were 3 openings in his plate armour
strange how something empty can be a life-saver

(had to save you)

so I assembled these tin sheets in my arms
and made system to see you
we did it
they finally saw us
and named me the courageous one
but I wasn't
I was terrified to live without you

yesterday
as the letter came
I had to hang my silver shoes up


"Your right on the status of nursing parent stops with the death of a child with difficulties in development ..."



that night ... I died with you

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