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Poem

No one ever talks about it
it hurts
it throbs
uncomfortable

\No one knew what to say
especially when it was no longer all about them
but it was

Who have i been with?
who have you been with!!!?

the tears
pain
throbbing
thief of under
under where?
under there

All my friends were busy
Called mom yesterday we fought
My brother bout fell off the wagon
cause i want to move away if he moves near
and they're all blaming my ex

i know better
psychological torment
Im the slut
Im the whore
I blame myself as i should
serves me right
right?

so who wants a piece of this pie?
drug induced schitsoeffective
mood disorder
mentally ill
diseased
Lover Boy
all for you

Just give me more pills

Two friends left
I don't want to talk to the Angel whose ex stole my password to this site
My ex girlfriend whose room i lit on fire owes me 240 dollars for her drug debt
things are getting better
happy birthday rip off
merry Christmas debt
high and dry
Now Herpe New year

and i wept
again
stronger this time to not go over the reasons to live versus those i should die
and i laid in bed
with no one to hold
so young
people are cruel
I'm the joke dressed in suicide
just make sure you wash your hands
when you clean up after my mess
you might get infected
and then as the songs go sang by the artists
that sing about how my names are songs

I'll be the one responsible for killing all of my friends and myself after all

For the love of latex and lesions
practice safe sex
know your partners well
and remember life aint no merry go round
it can happen to you
it happened to me

and I've only been out of the funny farm 
for three years
before that i was clean
before that was high school
and the nightmare i will always remember and equate with the word 
DREAM

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