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Restless soccer moms, whose kittens have all become mature, got plenty of suburban boredom Time enough for sure to get hooked on every advertised lure As daytime soaps and gossip kitsch are the mundane, daily double feature So they buy themselves some beautiful, youthful promises, packaged in a slick cardio video Victoria got some bedroom secrets that frustrated spouses wanna know Put the proper promotional letters in the slotted payment space Then they sit back and anticipate, let that warm scented water luxuriate their uncaged primal thoughts: That lackluster romantic routine with the half-interested spouse has become so very predictable Mannequin lovemaking so emotional sterile When expedited delivery late evening come, they strike their favorite sexy pose, in their most come-hither revealing clothes But such meticulously planned foreplay gets the usual NITM treatment today This last straw has stirred these tigress spirits, but not in a good way When the Good Wives Club start breaking bad, there’s gonna be divorce hell to pay Those Ladies Night Out now grinds to an adulterous sway Neglected desires are maritally hated, lost fidelity mourned in Goth black Intimacy ignored is so cold calculated; bad math, write digits for call back Cougars don’t like being domesticated, coyote ugly do love to run in a pack Foxy motives ain’t hen house overrated, passionate predators are on the attack Suburban lionesses on a stag hunting mission, got dark jaguar urban jungle keen night vision Painted panthers on a one-night-stand prowl, coy cheetahs moving fast with their claws out, Hot, feral women with cougar pent-up emotions, are lethal loving leopards with spotted devotions Passionate predators, only lascivious hearts dare venture If you got a taste for the forbidden, then you got a wish to be eaten Acronym alert: NITM (Not in the mood) **Poetic shorthand — Romantic Warrior
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