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I am a human being

And we are survivors by nature ...
Everyone we meet is fighting a battle of some kind
And life itself
For each of us

Is a series of battles ...
To be able to draw breath each day
To be able to widen our eyes to a new morn and face it head-on
To be able to move, work, learn, love, fight, and even play

Is to be a survivor.
This world places conflicts in our path
Forces us to face our fears
Makes us strive to overcome and develop on a daily basis ...

Even love itself is combat
An intense combat between the heart and the mind
And it's one that takes no prisoners.
We are all bruised by these skirmishes in life

We all carry deep scars, visible and not
We are all shell-shocked by the trials and relationships we struggle with
And some of us
Like me

Make things even MORE difficult ...
Some of us end up abusing ourselves
On top of all the OTHER hostilities the world sends our way
(As if those aren't enough) ...

Yes, I am a survivor, by default
Just by being a part of the Human Race
But the worst thing I have had to survive
Is MYSELF ...

I spent over 30 years
Putting poisons into my body that I KNEW were killing me
Creating a battleground that stopped my heart and nearly claimed my life
Inflicting wounds upon myself, (and those I loved), that were invisible

But that were deeper than any other I had known or imagined
With a blade as sharp and insidious as any sword
And oh, so deftly wielded ...
I became an expert with that blade

And I cleaved every precious thing from my existence, just so ...
One-by-one, I thrust the dagger deep, and twisted
My job, my house and comforts, my marriage, my family, and even my health
Every and each, run clean through and hewn from the tree of success

All for the sake of a substance and a feeling
All for a two-faced demon called "Euphoria"
And an escape from reality and pain.
Yes, I am a survivor

But I am NOT proud of it
Because it was a war I created on my own
And a battle I never needed to fight
A battle of avoidance

And insanity.





~ 1st Place ~  in the "I'm A Survivor Poetry Contest", Julie Rodeheaver, Judge & Sponsor.
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