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If you want to keep your expanding civil liberty weight down, we suggest you try the alphabet dictator soup It’s demagogue-approved to keep the public scrutiny town hall gavel pounds off of you The letters F ... R ... E ... E are not in the can, and radical talk chowder is totalitarian banned You best clam up, if you know what’s healthy for you But the split-lip pea soup tastes great liquefied, if your jaws need to be wired shut Fat ideas of human rights will get you shipped to Siberia on a dissident Weight Watchers bus Sugary sweet intoxicating wine of independent thought will get you government-issued gulag cloth So don’t get drunk on too much First Amendment talk Here’s something else you might want to try on the menu, our peppery, Black Boot fascist veggie stew It’s guaranteed to give you a mean kick Only 100-percent propaganda tofu is offered in this meatless, bicameral dish No harmful voter allergens to alarm you, and it’s debate-free healthy too This totalitarian menu will slim your political weight down so fast, it will shock you Just watch what a few rubles a day can do I know you still have cravings for some red meat democracy Need I remind you: this is a media roast-free, autocratic dinner party You will be amazed at what a few influence-peddling dollars will buy But please be advised: Stay away from any amended second helpings of the rich, decadent General Custard pie Aw, shot ... it’s double-barreled delicious, but it got major health concerns, no Krispy Kremlin lie Too many Constitutional calories in each serving of this American dish We urge you ... implore you ... demand you not to give it a try Those who taste too much sweet liberty, tend to kick their totalitarian diet to the curbside
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