Login
|
Join PoetrySoup
Home
Submit Poems
Login
Sign Up
Member Home
My Poems
My Quotes
My Profile & Settings
My Inboxes
My Outboxes
Soup Mail
Contest Results/Status
Contests
Poems
Poets
Famous Poems
Famous Poets
Dictionary
Types of Poems
Quotes
Short Stories
Articles
Forum
Blogs
Poem of the Day
New Poems
Resources
Syllable Counter
Anthology
Grammar Check
Greeting Card Maker
Classifieds
Member Area
Member Home
My Profile and Settings
My Poems
My Quotes
My Short Stories
My Articles
My Comments Inboxes
My Comments Outboxes
Soup Mail
Poetry Contests
Contest Results/Status
Followers
Poems of Poets I Follow
Friend Builder
Soup Social
Poetry Forum
New/Upcoming Features
The Wall
Soup Facebook Page
Who is Online
Link to Us
Member Poems
Poems - Top 100 New
Poems - Top 100 All-Time
Poems - Best
Poems - by Topic
Poems - New (All)
Poems - New (PM)
Poems - New by Poet
Poems - Random
Poems - Read
Poems - Unread
Member Poets
Poets - Best New
Poets - New
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems Recent
Poets - Top 100 Community
Poets - Top 100 Contest
Famous Poems
Famous Poems - African American
Famous Poems - Best
Famous Poems - Classical
Famous Poems - English
Famous Poems - Haiku
Famous Poems - Love
Famous Poems - Short
Famous Poems - Top 100
Famous Poets
Famous Poets - Living
Famous Poets - Most Popular
Famous Poets - Top 100
Famous Poets - Best
Famous Poets - Women
Famous Poets - African American
Famous Poets - Beat
Famous Poets - Cinquain
Famous Poets - Classical
Famous Poets - English
Famous Poets - Haiku
Famous Poets - Hindi
Famous Poets - Jewish
Famous Poets - Love
Famous Poets - Metaphysical
Famous Poets - Modern
Famous Poets - Punjabi
Famous Poets - Romantic
Famous Poets - Spanish
Famous Poets - Suicidal
Famous Poets - Urdu
Famous Poets - War
Poetry Resources
Anagrams
Bible
Book Store
Character Counter
Cliché Finder
Poetry Clichés
Common Words
Copyright Information
Grammar
Grammar Checker
Homonym
Homophones
How to Write a Poem
Lyrics
Love Poem Generator
New Poetic Forms
Plagiarism Checker
Poetics
Poetry Art
Publishing
Random Word Generator
Spell Checker
Store
What is Good Poetry?
Word Counter
Email Poem
Your IP Address: 18.189.14.219
Your Email Address:
Required
Email Address Not Valid.
To Email Address:
Email Address Not Valid.
Required
Subject
Required
Personal Note:
Poem Title:
Poem
THE OLD FART SONG (sing to the tune of "Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys") Verse one: Old men ain't easy to love and they're harder to mold, so train 'em when young, girls, don't wait till their bones have turned cold. They're slow as molasses, wear cheap reading glasses, they're hearing aids give them away, they grumble and mumble, they bumble and stumble, what hair they have left turns to gray. Chorus: Ladies, don't let your husbands survive to be old men, Their best parts get limber, their brains turn to timber, they spend too much time letting farts. Ladies don't let your husbands survive to be old men, because when they're home, you will wish you're alone and they think they have all of the smarts. Verse two: Old men like old stuff, ain't that some strange stuff, how antiques will make 'em feel young? They whistle like thistles, sling advice like missiles and sing like their a**es got stung. They're always ploying and tinker toying, they usually, always repeat: What did you say dear? SPEAK UP NOW, DAMMIT! and, When in the hell do we eat? Repeat Chorus Verse three: Old men like talkin' way more than go-walkin', but listening, well, not so much. Don't try to change him or even "re-range" him, or mess with his habits and such. Changes upset him, so you better let him, still think he has plenty pizazz, or he will snuffle, kerfuffle and shuffle, doin' stuff that's a pain in the azz. repeat chorus Verse four They say that old soldiers don't die, that they just fade away, it's the same with your old man... remember each dog has his day. Don't nickel and dime him, remember to prime him, be kind as he turns into dust. Through thick and through thin and through silly and sin, you're together for better or bust. FInal Chorus Ladies, don't let your husbands survive to be old men, let 'em be babies and let 'em be children and let 'em be heroes again. Ladies, don't let your husbands survive to be old men, When they hit bottom, be thankful you got 'em, 'Cause soon enough it will all end.
CAPTCHA Preview
Type the characters you see in the picture
Required