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Soundly you sleep, your insides at ease.
Beside you, I surge an uncharted storm of fearsome break 
for it thunder-threatens my own sun’s velocity melt.
Your breathing is even and bears no concern, no fear
or resentment squeaks to rust your dream’s churn.
	All my wishes wish it would;	
		I want it to rob you, break your peace to pieces,
		rough up all your pleases and scatter your calm.

Yesterday morn, the same ever alarm was greeted by our dual yawns.
	I poured your coffee, you jellied my toast, we teased about who 
loved the most versus who knotted our bed covers tossed.
	I heard the garage jerk and bolt, the squeal of reverse being forced
	and grinned that life so ordinary was actually a fulfilling choice.

Later I chanced upon blemish, a day scar drama erasers can’t touch, 
time can’t discard or blow into bits a kind wind might take far.
Even hours gone, with eyes closed, I cannot look away.
My insides toss green, then turn blue-black.
My heart is cramped and crumpled uneven,
	and my doubt is sure love-innocent trust will never come back.

Our longtime love is not mere try or habit or lie,
	I know you want me at your side,
so why not a plan more focused to better secret your sordid?
Why carelessly litter dramatic change that my feet must step around or in?
You sleep unaware of my awake seeped with betrayal:
       Passionately you kissed another, gifted eye
	               smiles on the street to each other,
	                    while I was framed in the window
	                            of our local and favorite grocer.



... CayCay
March 18, 2017

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