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"measuring years"

how do I measure the years
do I start at the beginning or the end
will it cover the many tears
anger and bitterness I will not defend
just let me be to have my mind
as the years of pain are intertwined
years one and two and counting are gone
I know there will be a new dawn
I know all has been rearranged
as I somehow become withdrawn
life has changed

I manage to get through the years
as I learn to pretend
and somehow work through all the fears
still anger and bitterness I will not defend
I sit and watch my life being defined
through all the years combined
with all the medical treatment undergone
the curtain of life is being drawn
I am told everything is unchanged
yet I remain withdrawn
life has changed

time passes as I hide the tears
a new life is always around the bend
month after month until it becomes years
while on the physical and emotional mend
space and air seem confined
as the life once lived is behind
and the feeling is of being alone
all that is needed is for the anger to be gone
I look in the mirror and see I have aged
for no reason I lash out at everyone
life has changed

a new day begins after four and five years
the years one two and three are seen to the end
still there are days of tears
still there is anger and bitterness I will not defend
it is hard for the mind and body to unwind
as I continue to watch the life I left behind
I keep searching for a new milestone
with every being in my bone
I feel I have been shortchanged
that the world has won
life has changed

now is the time of six and counting years
will I ever reach the changing bend
will this altering life stop the tears
my life of old I will not pretend
years of passing are still intertwined
and my being today is how I am defined
it is true that yesterday is gone
I cannot let bitterness continue to be drawn
my view of life must be rearranged
and view the paintings of a new dawn
life has changed

now the story has been told
as measuring years is getting old
I continue to search for a new view
as there is so much to attend to
while life has been rearranged
this is certainly true
life has changed

 SkyWatcher -  10-08-08
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