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Personal Note:

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Poem

I try to see 
back before 
to who Eddy once was
just barely before when
the bending began
Eddy was after all
a cute child 
wide eyed
hugging kissing and kind

Somehow horrible happened
It tricked and trapped his mind
Loud shouting screaming sounds
parents preaching pain
through domestic degradation 
careless communication
fraught with frustration
Pass the potatoes please
then spilled milk smacking sensation
belt welts broken eggs no bacon
Get up go clean up
never ever interrupt 
battles brief and abrupt
ranting and raving
mom misbehaving
Eddy helpless and in need of saving
experiencing what no child should be braving
Learning man lessons 
before he started shaving

He can't  depend on dear dad
who pretends perfection
in his ship shape barber shop
where his jolly joking rarely stops
Important friends doctors and cops
humorous happy back slaps
Eddy feels hidden looks and subtle attacks

Shoe shine simple
comic book quick
When the shop closes
Tearful Eddy gets another licking
At two times five even Eddy starts kicking
his hurt turns into fists swinging
runaway day trip escaping
Then away he starts staying
getting into trouble time
not enough praying
rules that need breaking
Who he'll become
there's little mistaking 
what he wants he happily starts taking

He can't shake the mistakes
Travels life fast with worn brakes
Tears turn into lakes
He has and has caused 
many heart breaks
Sometimes past prisons
Are to hard to escape
I think of my daddy 
dear Eddy 
and my soul shakes
Sometimes  time ticks
Other times it just takes!

Inspired by a comment made by John Hamilton after he read my 
poem "between the words of my father".


My Entry for S. Grace's  "Mental Illness Contest."

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