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There once was a Lass from up around Mass Who ventured down south for some schoolin’ The boys were all giddy because she was so pretty, But none caught the young lady’s fancy Her suitors opined, but she was resigned An old maid certain she’d be Deep in her books, she gave none a look But her grandpa weren’t without hope Each day by the gates he stood with his hook A young prince hoping to spy No prince did appear, but against all fear A gay minstrel did saunter by Into the keep and down the main street He passed in the blink of an eye Off to the tower to find his fair flower The bonny maiden he’d spotted afar Our hero it seems was livin’ a dream For crushed by the Ice Maiden he would certainly be Onlookers wager the fool’s errand end “Two Quid he’ll jump when she’s through with him!” Onward he trod, his prize to hold Journey at end and heart ever bold “Come down to me!” he beckoned The Ice Maiden unmoved Outside her window, his love song to begin Each day returnin’ to serenade again Finally emergin’, the Ice Maiden relents “Marry you will I, given one thing” “Sing no more my love till the end of time, For your tone deaf caterwaul drives me out of my mind.”
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