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This seems to be a lifetime journey I'm sure more than a few can relate Doing my best in this formidable quest In search of the perfect toothpaste From grocery aisles to shopping malls To mom and pop roadside stands Standing in line at the 5 and dime There's no corner that I haven't been Looking for the flavor to which my teeth savor From blue to green to red peppermint I've tried bubblegum and for meat lovers, bacon Even the new cinnamon no rinse But it's not only the flavor that's concerning It also has to do with the foam While brushing my teeth in the morning I look like a rabid dog on the roam So it's back to the store in search of much more I feel like Frodo Baggins the Hobbit From top shelf to floor in this my Middle Earth Until the elusive paste I have got it Yes, my friend like you I'll keep trying For the toothpaste that removes any doubt But until then I'll toss them into the bin Saved up for the day I caulk my house
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