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My missus has a liking for those cheese and onion crisps,
the taste and the aroma she finds tricky to resist.
Yet oddly the real thing she simply will not eat
but me I find the real McCoy is just so hard to beat.
My favourite is Danish Blue but boy, she gives me hell
not just the weird appearance she cannot abide the smell.
You'd think that I could get away with something like a Gouda
but no, I find if anything her nagging just gets louder.
For Gorgonzola I am itching, but she just keeps right on bitchin'
and I get relegated along with the cats from out the kitchen.
Both our cats fancy some Edam, but she simply will not feed 'em
since the thought of touching it can make her shudder,
her distaste remains stolid over anything that's solid
if it started off in life inside an udder.
Things did come to a head half an hour before bed
my breath smelt of cheese, she was not impressed,
took a good swipe at my head, spilled my wine on me instead
you could say that I was now Chablis dressed.
I cannot understand, with my cheddar in my hand,
why she won't try it for once but anyhow,
I can still console myself as I put it on the shelf that she has one thing in common-
she's a cow.

For contest- Here's my whine now pass the cheese, sponsor Phillip Garcia
A slightly bruised Viv Wigley, with a plate of Camembert, August 2nd 2016

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