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11 years of public school under your belt, 8 years suffering the worst feeling ever felt. Parents divorced, They remarried....... You're forgotten. Eventually you have to move, Leaving fields of corn and cotton. Trailer park life, living as a disgrace. Facing all your fears alone and biting back the bitter taste. A hateful brother you thought was the only one, Not knowing the father you loved replaced you. Being thrown into this new hoard nd giving anxiety a kick start. Dealing with the stress of 8 new siblings along with a useless attempt at maintaining order. You look back now and realize how easy you had it then.... You're new little sister comes in August, 10 brothers and sisters is a lot to handle. You're school life is steadily getting harder as you struggle to prove your worth. A concoction of vibrant pills are the only reason you're alive, if you're being completely honest with yourself. You don't know why you even bother getting excited because you have no one to share it with. You're "awful" brother has left for boot camp. The one person you trusted left. Weekly, you pay someone to listen to you cry and complain about your "horrible" teenage life. And nothing means anything to you anymore. You hate the kid you were fot being naïve. You go through each day with a monotonous numbness, making sure nobody suspects your problems. And each night, as you prepare yourself for the onslaught of nightmares, you look dejected at your knives and secretly wished that nobody cared and you didn't have so much responsibility, So that you wouldn't feel guilty if you decided to leave. This is the struggle of my life. And it will never be made any easier.
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