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Poem

We walked home
Hand in hand
You were just a girl
me a boy 
pretending to be a man

We held tightly to our nothing
Wrapping it fully within the wanting
Not really knowing 
who we were 
or what we were needing
So it was so easy 
to sink into heavy breathing 
Me the innocent boy
you my ingenue 
We loved each other for a time
It seemed the right thing to do

You were my cynosure 
a crystal blue eyed angel
naked and demure
Tentatively  innocent
yet somehow you seemed so sure
I wanted you to unlock my sad lonely 
still I kept looking elsewhere for a cure
A panacea 
for the missing parts inside of me
So I searched
wanting to see
my sempiternal possibility

Feelings ineffable
I wanted so bad to feel full
Why couldn't I hold onto us
or resist the pull
I was a sad black sheep
searching for virgin wool

I thought maybe
beyond my awkward stammer
in the wider world of glamour 
I could be a mellifluous camper
Yet secretly I knew
I was neither lissome or free
Why did I give up the us in we?
Binding myself in a place 
I was never meant to be
There in a chatoyant box
locked with a golden key 
It would take years
For me to be able to see
What my crystal blue baby
seen inside of me
In the end
knowing I was loveable
is what set the boy free
You showed me
the man I was meant to be!


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