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Unquotable quotes – XIV

Don’t trouble trouble until trouble gobbles you ; don’t 
     rubble rouble until rouble rubbles you.
Don’t marry a woman out of pity ; she’ll make you 
     regret her lack of fidelity for a ditty.
Don’t lose your temper with any old party member ; 
     they are all in league licking the leader’s member.
Don’t meddle with paddles if you have never rowed on 
     water ; it’s not the self-same action you practice with 
     your partner.
Don’t run to get insurance coverage when you’re 
     hanging from a ledge ; better wait for the dredger to 
     empty the valley of sludge. 
Don’t go to the cinema to rub or warm thighs and legs ; 
     what you’re watching is not what you see.
Don’t climb mountains only to be rescued in the public 
     eye ; there are other more subtle ways like making 
     naked love to appear on TV.
Don’t crack jokes to make others croak ; crack their 
     skulls open with a rebuke.
Don’t eat with your fingers noodles soup ; drink the 
     soup first, then slurp the noodles through fingers.
Don’t tease the neighbour’s daughter for lack of 
     laughter ; for all you know she may be Bob Hope’s 
     screen writer.
Don’t turn tables in a fight if you haven’t got the might, 
     unless you’re  John Wayne in a Western with a 
     broken hind stern.
Don’t squirm in bed dreaming of Clark Gable ; his teeth 
     kept great actresses crying out for a gargle.
Don’t swim against the current pretending to be Tarzan, 
     unless you have a Jane willing to put up with any 
     bane.
Don’t cry for help with a mere yelp.

© T. Wignesxan – Paris, 2016

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