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Living with an addict is a special kind of hell
You watch your child struggle and suffer,
Each day brings new challenges
They will tell you: “I am not dependent on that stuff!”
“ You are not?” NO! I don’t use it every day!” 
Not knowing much about drugs, you ask stupid questions. 
“Who would use every day! I should hope not.”
But money disappears, jewelry and tools walk away…
Many strange things happen.

Many homeless friends of your child hang around, 
And you feel sorry for them.
You let them sleep in the garage and cannot believe their family would cast them out,
Not having reached that point of desperation with your child yet. 
You don’t mind that they eat here but some are saying you are enabling them.
But you would rather that a stranger would feed your child if he was in that position.
Better than stealing, right? No one has the perfect answer.

You watch your child turn pale and listless.
What happened to the one that loved going camping, fishing and had many interests?
You try and make suggestions but they seem to fall on deaf ears. 
You are afraid…where is my child?
This thing has power over everything! You look for answers and ask many questions.
No one knows the answer, no one wants to be involved.
“They have to do that on their own!” 
You know that is not right! They are not in their right mind.
How can they be expected to make good decisions! 
All they think of is how to get that next fix!

You know that your child is still in there, somewhere!
The child that has so much compassion, many dreams and wishes. 
You remember the little arms around your neck.
“Mom, I love you!”
The hand full of dandelion heads he gave you with shining eyes.
“ I picked them for you.”

Many still have the belief that addiction is just willfull action.
“They can stop any time they want” 
NOT so! It is an illness! Yes, you have to experiment with drugs to get it,
But they don’t choose to be addicted. 
The DRUG is stealing their life, is taking your child!
All you can do is pray and wish and suffer…God help us!

Bridget Aubrey
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