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look at me
water shoes on
beach chair buried in the sand
feeling like an overtly energetic six year old again
acting all shy as she grabs my hand as the water freezes our feet unexpectedly

remembering the loneliness
cable off
vhs on
same movie as the last four days
wondering how i got there
not caring about freeing myself

here i am
new swim trunks on
fast food gut rumbling in continuous anticipation
staring in awe at the ocean like she is a celebrity
acting even more shy as she lifts my chin up and brushes her lips against mine

remembering the darkness in the lights
electricity off
heavy blanket consuming me
1988 walkman playing 60s reggae sounds....perfectly blinding me
mental starvation for immediate escape
verbal starvation for immediate escape
wondering when the electricity man was gonna come and turn the electricity back on
imagining a gun and a few bullets....to shoot the dream i am suffering dead

wait a minute
i am totally on vacation
got me a beautiful blessing of a travelling partner....thick in all the right places
on the next to last day....still in complete disbelief that i am actually here
acting yet even more shy as she smiles at me with a look of sincere affection....as she rubs somewhere....she considers absolute, natural fun

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