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SAYS WHO?? Each day I wake up I am a fireball of energy, raring to go and everything is going great until my feet hit the floor. Mind you , by then I have expended a vast amount of energy, throwing the duvet to one side, then I have to turn over a full 90 degrees to reach out and see the clock. Then I have to turn back to execute the next move which is to swing the whole of the lower half of my body OFF the bed, at the same time as maintaining an equilibrium so as to stop the inertia from carrying the rest of me off the bed and crashing to the floor. During this time I am also fending off 3 demented dogs who have a group desire to lick me to death. After all this I then have to reassert my mental faculties to perform the next expend of vital energy. That is to stand up, this I can now do with only a minor stagger before I regain control. Dogs duly dispatched to the lounge. I then have to make an urgent call to the small room before any further mishap occurs. Assuming I perform this task without further mishap I then shave, wash and clean my tooth with my now properly named toothbrush! Time now to retrace my earlier passage back to the bedroom where I have to consider my attire for the day. Once all this is arranged on the bed I can commence dressing [all by myself now] . I am now ready to make my way to the lounge cum kitchen where my good wife has prepared my first meal of the day. After this has been duly consumed I am ready for what the day has in store for me. That is, after the obligatory lie down to recoup all the expended energy lost during the aforementioned activities. Growing old but not growing up! © Dave Timperley July 2015
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