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When it all came down I lost my mind
Bit by bit I became hard to find
But like a phoenix from the ashes I rise
I'm proud to say I survived

These past 8 months were trying times
I sat in bed and wrote these rhymes
I never knew what was coming next
What was yet to happen was anyone's guess

I went to the nut house twice in all
To be sane again was all I lived for
On my darkness days I made plans
I wanted to go and meet the “big boss man”

Everyone around me suffered too
Little by little they all knew
Knew my darkest secrets and tricks
Knew all the things that made me tick.

But I wasn't ashamed its who I am
It was finally out, it wasn't a scam
Eventually I began to heal
But what happened next…believe me is real

A knock on the door one Sunday morning
3 detectives with badges…there was my warning
They took me away in a little silver car
Arrested for what? I didn't know thus far…

They gave me a cell and made me answer some questions
They let me go on bail, no charges or restrictions
“Surrender here in one months time
And we’ll decide your fate and crime”.

The first week was hard as hell,
I knew I couldn't spend my life in a cell
So my suicide plans began again
A Stanley knife and pills would become my friend

Week 2 I lost the will to speak
I couldn't even sleep or eat
Benzos were what the doctor ordered
A Benzo high to fix my disorder

Week 3 is where this picks up
7 days till judgement…I know it sucks
Humming and haring about what to do
Should I Die now or see it through?

Then at 12 by phone did ring
“Hello Ms Dhillon I have some news,
Please sit down while I talk you through,
I know this will be of interest to you”.

“There are no charges to be had
You’re a free women now don’t despair,
I know this fear was hard to bear
But its over now, no need to be scared”. 

I sat and I just cried and cried
I now no longer had to die
I knew that I could finally sleep
And slowly all my dreams I could reap

Off to the pub, there were drinks to be had
I am no longer feeling sad
It was relief for all, that much is true
But it was my victory, and it was sweet!

I guess what I'm saying is there's always ways
Ways to keep from going insane
I wouldn't of believed it yesterday either
But today I'm living proof.... it sure does pay to be a believer!
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