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Poem

3am
i am up and out
a few days after an ice storm
a few days after my Mother's car was repossessed
walking the three hours to work
near the woods
i hear the rustling
i am being watched
a dead deer startles me
light
darkness
darkness 
light
crickets
stranger sounds
i regret every thought before the important ones
now my legs are heavy
i am now wishing that i called a taxi
my money is limited, and i think of caroline
i think about my broken heart
i think about a brand new start
i am sweating frigidity beams
that breeze at my back stings
i thought i was too good for this happening
i thought i was way above this type of struggle
now i am the one not laughing
my bills have been on time ever since
a little after 6am
i am dragging my behind
i find the strength deep within myself to prepare mentally
i got eight long and physical hours to do
i lock up my pain like a strategic version of constipation
nobody knows the internal clown crying tears of woe
thoughts of loss
thoughts of debt
thoughts of my useless need to feel
thoughts of the mistakes and the bad resulting decisions
thoughts of a genius type of time machine
i sweat
i work
i make somebody else rich
i clock out
i think about the walk to work
i decide....without hesitation....to call a taxi
i Learn....
i Grow....

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