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I never possessed time. Time that I would call my own. You see, amidst a broken heart. I had heard a friend cry. She said her own heart had been broken. So I listened, counselled and wiped away her tears. There was no time to sit and feel sorry for myself. With a broken thumb. A pounding headache. A hard day at work. I wanted a hot bath and cup of coffee. To lay me down, I took a couple of pain killers. But you see, amidst fatigue. I had heard a cousin sob. She said she had lost her job. So I listened, counselled and wiped away her tears. There was no time to sit and nurse my tiredness. With a heavy heart upon seeing an accident. A horrid image in my head that I had to let out. I went looking for my best friend. But I had heard her cry. She said she was not happy in her life. So I listened, embraced and wiped away tears. There was no time to share and offload. With yet another broken heart. I had told myself to cry and shut it down for once. I had planned to watch sad movies. With a box of Kleenex by my side. But you see, amidst another heart break. I had heard a sibling cry. She said she had hurt a person unintentionally. So I listened, counselled and wiped away her tears. There was no time to cry and weigh down my feelings. With a torchlight. I had decided to do my favorite thing. On a warm summer evening. Walk about the park and listen to the night. Amidst my time of reflection, I had heard a close kin cry. She said, her husband had cheated and had another child. So I listened, embraced and wiped away tears There was no time for me to reflect. I never possess time. I don’t think I will ever possess time to myself. But you see, that’s okay. I have made my peace with it. So I guess that’s what someone meant when they told me: “Straighten up soldier, There is never time to cry” © Herzel Poshiwa
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