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Car Trouble The car started slow to go as cars go Silent on the ride it motioned down the road Leaves could be counted on the trees as I passed by I counted every one just for fun The pace picked up and time stood still There was nothing to be done It seemed a little odd at first When the car traveled in reverse And headed off the cliff into the universe Falling off I screamed and cursed Maybe the brakes gave out Way beyond our system solar making many lefts And when the auto made a sharp turn right Exceeding light speed passing planets I realized there were no street signs or people or roads Everything was calm and normal in the void A pleasant voyage but I had to wonder why The Earth removed itself from sight From my rear view mirror speeding out I only paid five dollars’ worth of gas Screaming past the universe unfolding Collapsing there in front of me and dads jalopy It seemed curious indeed Will I make it home for dinner Will I be late to the dance this evening And will my parents be angry at me The air condition stopped working hours ago There are only foreign stations on the radio Space ships pulled up next to me Orange beings questioned why I drive so slow Creatures with five eyes laughed at me as they rolled by Silver androids stopped me for conversation Space police pulled me over for speeding in wrong directions For going ten thousand miles per second In a three thousand speeding zone They issued tickets for space ship violations For speaking in a foreign tongue And chewing gum without a license And for being an alien without alien registration Also for Improper lights in a speed of light designated zone They sent me home with just a warning this time I told them time had stopped They wrote me up again for that and driving backwards As I arrived back in time Mom and pop stopped me on the spot I forgot to take the trash out so I’m grounded No more car or dancing with the stars
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