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Staring at the candle light,
remember me,so vibrant and bright.
The smoke it exhales is akin to my soul.
All floating and dreaming,yet distant and cold.
No one can see heat around , flame.
like no one can feel my hurt and pain.
There is blue in that cone of dangerous heat.
The blue in my heart seems to repeat.
I see that shadow dancing round,
a child,a toy and a joy to be found.
The rememberence of me and the death of my heart.
Lonliness picks me apart.
On that wall that shadow is dancing,
all dresses and pretty and wildly prancing.
The flame fires in madness,now she angry indeed
I know who she is now ,and I begin to plead
down on my knees,I beg and I shout.
please dear lord snuff that thing out!
I dont want to remeber a time of joy,
a christmas or birthday..first kiss from a boy.
but even more dont make me remember.
I see it now,the rape in the embers.
I cried your name, my dear dear lord.
did you carry me then, the one I adore?
when he reached for me and drew me close,
that dear lord is when I thought of you most.
Appirition appears to soothe my soul?
surprising calm  and not at all cold.
I take it all back I dont want to loose,
this shadow I see to good to true.
Appirition replied;
for you my child on the cross I died   
         jill frebertshauser

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