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Jan and Darren once met up in a local bar
Darren hoped his chat up lines would get him very far
Jan was not impressed and wouldn’t give him her address
His chat-up lines are dreadful I really must confess

Darren refuses to heed the warning 
Would you like toast for breakfast in the morning
Honestly Jan things are not as bad as they seem
You've seen me before, I'm the man of your dreams.

Oh I know Darren and you’re so good looking
A devil in the bedroom and you also love cooking
But I prefer to have my eggs unfertilised
Don’t look at me like that with your big brown eyes

I can see myself in your beautiful green eyes
I do horoscopes, Aha you found that a surprise
What the stars are telling me there is no disguising
When you sit on my lap, That's not Jupiter rising 

Oh be careful Mr Watston!  Will you behave!
If I sit on your lap I'll be in an early grave
You've always known I'm happily married
But in your dreams your thoughts can be carried

You forget I know your husband Bob 
He's taking me to the TT if I do a good job
I'm to flirt and joke and laugh and tease
Until you beg for mercy and say pretty please 
 
Oh Darren Watson you’re a terrible flirt
You eye up anyone in a mini skirt
And as for tightly fitted jeans
These things I guess you see in your dreams

I admit I've got a roving eye
I know you're into swinging so thought I'd try 
Yes I know Bob will love you forever
But he promised us guys must stick together.

Your chat up lines are wearing thin
I’m not really after a night of sin
We truly are the best of friends
I hope our collaboration never ends

Ending our collaboration never entered my head 
In the poems we write I can get you in bed
You are beautiful, sassy and have a great sense of fun
With wonderful legs and a fabulous bum.

20th May 2014
Written by Jan Allison & Darren Watson
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