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When you look up in the sky and you see those floating lights going side to side and up 
and down and not in a straight line…it’s cuz them UFO people are drinking my profits. And you and yours are arresting me for just makin’ a little shine but not goin’ after those 
extra-tarrestrials for flying drunk is crazy.

You need to get them people from Area 51 and Roswell to investigate cuz you’re killing my way of life.

I’ve written to the NSA about this, and they haven’t said a thing…and just between you 
and me, I knows they spying on everyone’s phone so when people send them nudie 
pictures of themselves to each other and stuff and those sext messages I’d like to know 
whose lookin’ at those cuz I’d like to too. 

But anyways, its E.T. and his homo friends drinkin’ my profits and flyin’ around without turn signals or nuthin causin people to hurt themselves cuz their lookin up at ‘em flying drunk and the only reason they haven’t hit anyone is cuz we ain’t grown wings yet. So please get Mulder and Scully, and that one-arm man on the case and let me go home. Cuz I ain’t done nothin’ wrong our founding fathers wouldn’t have done.



When you look up in the sky
5/1/'14

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