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I awoke from a dream I had been dreaming With sweat that was popping from my head I knew I had to shake it off So I got up out of bed I found a bottle of bourbon Three gulps, then I wiped my lips And had to sit the bottle down Before it fell from my fingertips The nightmare I had been dreaming Seemed so real and so refined That I knew I had to see one of those shrinks To tell the nightmare that’s still in my mind I found the shrewdest shrink in the city And dished out all that cash He took it and opened up his safe And put that thousand with his other stash So what did you dream of my dear fellow Don’t worry, it all stays here Like that commercial about Las Vegas Tell it all and have no fear Well I told him what I dreamed last evening And his eyes almost left their sockets He had a strange look on his face As he retrieved a hanky from his pocket He says you dreamed you ran this country? And took over from that Kenyan on the throne? And people adored and loved you? And your nationality is still unknown? Well I say to you in earnest dear fellow If none asks, I wouldn’t really tell But the meaning of that dream you had Reminds me of those visits people have from hell You took over for that Kenyan And kept all his cabinet in place And your family now disowns you And your name is synonymous with disgrace I’d say it means you are a liberal Because you never changed anything at all So if you don’t mind, could you wait right here I have the solution out in the hall He came back in with a shotgun And loaded it right there for me Then said that this was a solution to my problem And he promised it would set me free They buried me in the family cemetery And said some kind words on my behalf The chiseler came by later And chiseled Progressive Liberal as my epitaph
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