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Hate

As a child I was taught to forgive
In my family hate was a bad word
I took it all in 
Sometimes forgiving too easily
Yet here I am 
Hurting more than I can say
Because in my heart is 

Hate

I was always told that hate hurts the hater
More than the one who is hated
Maybe they are right 
But what do you do when someone you love
Betrays you in so many ways 
In just one day
When they cross a line that can’t be uncrossed
Even puts your well being in jeopardy 
And the first thing you feel 
After the shock is

Hate

I was told to sleep on it and I might feel 
Different in the morning 
Morning came 
And the feeling is stronger
Not better
And as the day has passed 
I feel as if my heart is about to explode 
With all this 

Hate

I am trying so hard
To rationalize 
Turn this feeling around 
Yet for every reason to forgive 
A reason to not comes up too
The trust is all gone 
My heart feels shattered 
I feel like a fool 
For ever trying to mend 
The relationship 
We never really had
I know it isn’t the Christian thing to do
But I just don’t feel that I 
Can ever forgive her 
Not this time 
Not ever 
There is too much bad blood between us
Now there is 

Hate

By blood she is my mother
But that is where it ends
Because yesterday 
She messed with my well being
My sanity
My life 
She put me in-between a rock and a hard place
& I realized  
That as much as I have always
Wanted her to love me 
There has never been anything there
So now it is time to move on
Give up trying 
Because I just can’t bring myself to love her
Anymore 
All I feel is 

Hate

By: Jeanna York
10/20/2013

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