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Something I have long suspected Might very well happen is in fact Already moving full-steam ahead Towards our seeming desolate shore But this bit I might as well confess Is way out of the extra-ordinary fare That the poets had long presaged Albeit not with appropriate conviction But when I heard that the French were en route I knew that the British had already touched base And when I heard that the Russians were coming I knew the Americans were lurking somewhere But now look! Our waters are no longer ours They are teeming with foreign sea vessels They have been claimed by mighty powers That care not that we have a contrary view Look closely, my friend, and you will be shocked You see that small floating antenna way out there? That marks a Russian super espionage submarine That to the right over there is a French equivalent Turn, turn this way, my friend, you see that bird? Why has it not moved since we came on the scene? Ah, it is because a bird it is not, my dearest friend! It is a dummy marking the location of a submarine This one is Britain’s most sophisticated submarine That patrols and gathers information in this region Now put on this pair of binoculars, will you, dearest? I want to show you something that will shock you. You see that castle that seems to be slowly approaching? Now that is an aircraft carrier, an airfield, in our waters. This place is teeming, as I said, with les gens d’espionage So now, dearest, your leave I must take to rejoin my team.
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