Email Poem

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Personal Note:

Poem Title:

Poem

How
often
do i doubt
you
how often
do i
fail to see the big picture

I do much
to
spit in the face 
of love's 
 face

My
temper
is my one weakness
in  character
and

I am so
afraid
that
life will
pass me by and
i will
miss
the beauty in everything
and I will fail
to see
the real
point
I want to see 
what is real
and
to
erase
everything
cruel
that
I have ever done

I
always
jump
to the wrong conclusion
and I 
never
give you the chance
because
I cannot capture
these  issues of trust
they fall out of my reach
dropping from
my clutch

I
am a fool
with all things dealing with
romance
I am a fool
for
disrespecting
your
name

I want
to trust you
but
i can't
and i don't
I want to understand why
I can fix
this
i know i can
but
it will take me some time
its a journey
that requires that I grow
some wings to fly

but
something in my mind
is always trying to interfere
I have one
good
angel on one shoulder
and a devil on the other
where its 
 nasty
whispers
Fill in my ears
and
poisons my heart

Because of this
ugly stupidity 
i miss sweet feeling 
the symphonies
 of your smile
ignited in my heart
and raindrops
plopping into
 the river of 
your eyes
swirling round and round
they
reflect
your light
like
the moon reflecting
off
the surface of a river on a midsummers night

My stubborn grimace
and my closed
heart keeps me at bay
in a deep trench
in my heart
where
I've been peering out of
for far to long
waiting
and watching
so close
to always escaping
it
but then only ending up
digging myself further and further


I doubt you
and
you prove me
each
time so so wrong
and
I
am 
so wrong.

Maybe this last time
I will
finally change
your heart is pure and good
and
I am the one to blame.

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