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How about when stores jack up their prices
Then reduce them and call it a sale
I've been on to these devious practices for years
Their attempt to bamboozle us has failed

Annoying commercials that treat us like morons
As if we're gonna fall for that stuff
Like if you brush with mint flavoured toothpaste
Your sweetie will greet you in the buff

How about optometrists with really bad breath
As they lean over to adjust that eye thing
More than once I nearly passed out in the chair
Need a sign on the door with a warning

Or when you're at a game with the whole family
And a guy gets drunk and obnoxious
Using every cuss word ever known to mankind
You wish you could muzzle this ignoramus

You pay scads of dough for a vacation down south
And it rains every day of your stay
Your condo smells like the back end of a donkey
A most forgettable vacation I'd say

Well I'm sure most people can relate to these
You probably have a bunch of your own
Should be a service called Pet Peeves Anonymous
Or a help line you could contact by phone


© Jack Ellison 2013

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