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People just don’t understand
Why sometimes I jump in fear
Or why I cry and cower
When a loud noise I hear

People find it amusing
When I start to shiver and cry
They simply have no idea
Or know the reason why…

Fireworks are a horror...
To try to enjoy the display,
I have to cover my ears
And pretend that I’m OK

Loud noises send me screaming
Away to find a safe place
They make my go for cover
As I try to hide my face

I just feel like suffocating
As I relive bomb shelter days
The smell and the sickening sounds...
How I was always in such a daze

Dad would yell at us to hurry
As he’d lift Mama on his back
MS meant she couldn’t walk
Would they survive this attack?

We scrambled down the stairs
The bombs' whistles in our ears
I could hardly take a breath
I was choked by incessant fears

In the dank and smelly shelter
We could do nothing but pray
As we counted all the neighbors
We wondered how long we’d stay

Then came that awful day
The blasts set the campus a flame
Our pine trees were burning up
The men tried that fire to tame

I ran to the bomb shelter
But no family was there in sight
I started to scream and cry
Would my family be alright?

They finally put out the fire
But oh, the devastation
People were dead and dying
In all parts of this nation

Shrapnel came through our closet
And chewed up all our clothes
We were thankful we weren’t there
Or we too would be full of holes

Then on campus they brought a tank
But they’d warn us when they’d start,
That gruesome work of shelling
I saw our lives just fall apart

My friend’s father lost his life
Some saw loved ones blown away
My brother and wife were lucky
But they carry scars to this day

Lebanon is steeped in beauty
But the war has marred me for life
Sometimes memories flood back
And I’m reminded of all the strife

It’s when I hear those loud noises
And I feel the ground start to shake
I feel my life will be over
“Protect me, for heaven’s sake!”

So when July 4th comes along
And you celebrate liberty
Think of the firework display 
And what that does to souls like me.

Eileen Manassian Ghali
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