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The end of the world is foretold to arrive any time soon so I am leaving a message in this bottle for anybody with advice on how to survive if this should happen again. In the Bible it does state that the Earth will go on for eternity, so it must be something that will be at his hand that removes us from his creation. The bottle you have now opened contains my favourite wine and I hope it is still drinkable. There is a warning though and some advice you may like to follow. Red wine, they say, is good for the heart, but then they changed their minds and tell us is will kill us. So stick to white wine so instead Eat plenty of fibre it’s good for you; you do not want to be stuck on the loo when the end arrives. Eat five portions of fruit and vegetables a day; you want to be healthy at the end of the world. If you see a large mushroom formation in the clouds, duck and cover, they told us they had disarmed all nuclear devices but I think they tell lies. Find out who THEY are, we never did. Don’t burn the candle at both ends; you want to look your best at the end. When you wake up and find you have gotten old and it sneaked up on you and all the aches and pains that come with it, go out and welcome the end of the world. As you have found this bottle I have to presume you have to start a new race just remember life can be a b***h so don’t marry one as well. You will never find the missing link, so don’t look, accept it that some people really did fall off the ugly tree. Never go to sleep angry at the person you are with, make sure you swap them regularly. Remember it is not the Stork that brings the children, it is the lark in the night, buy a bird scarer. That is all the advice I can give for now I need to get my nails and hair done in case it happens now. I want look my best, so go forth and multiply. © ~GG~ 24/12/2012
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