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The morning after Is there any reality ?, or is it just another dream ? Four AM and I awake from a dream. That dream tells a story, is that story a truth ?, - The truth that came to light, Valentine’s night. I came to visit with you - your girlfriend is there – Our words are brief – you want to leave – walk out the door. Your friend and I remain behind – your choice. Your girlfriend begins to tell me that you are involved – In fact - you have been involved for a long time – I have been nothing more then a filler for your empty hours. I awake with this pain in my heart and a knowledge of. WHAT ??? Monika : February 15th 2007 Four AM ,pen in hand, words begin to flow. You are a beautiful Lady, I would love to know. My heart ache, bleeds for you- I show you the tears that run wild, through my veins until knowledge of, absorbs, and all that remains are holographic shards, memories ( good or bad ) of the pains I have had to endure - your words where “ be patient ”, “ be this, be that, be the other ”. My soul’s spirit, you did smother. Implication ?, my dream realized. but these all seem to be more transient. and my life’s journey, compromised. In all honest Monika, - I think – never from you will come the passion, the closeness, the affection, the love, a desire for – all these things I desire to give and to live, I so wish to know. I feel that I am nothing more - for you – then a gift – the gift of Christmas love ( black and red lovers twist ). A block of wood, carved into – inanimate – lovers entwined in each other, a passionate kiss that you see as a musical symbol. An item to be placed upon a shelf – looked at, but never touched - symbolically, spiritually or as a mentor to bring out of you – life, alive. As always Monika, I am conflicted - living with uncertainty, Always in doubt about where I stand and what I mean to you . B. J. “A” 2 February 15th 2007
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