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I've allowed my vision to become muddled, And pushing you away seemed my only tiny salvation. To know that your alright brings my dead heart to flight, as i down these pills tonight. Always have been strong, just one night, just once I would like to fall. You can call me selfish but I'm still holding on. Because I hate myself for hurting you, but i love myself for the memories. I want to take back the time and lay with you for a while. But here i am this room cold and sterile, the rain slamming into my window. I just wanted to go to sleep, except now I'm awake and crying. I scream and sob but still I'm alone, because my plan had failed. Someone noticed that i had fallen to the floor the booze spilled out my door. I cannot change what I have done. But I love you like no tomorrow. I just want to hug you tight and tell you all my sorrow. Except that if i do im terrified you'll pull away, and tell me I deserve this slap to the face. But I know that you wouldn't, I'm just ashamed to cry infront of you. When your life means more then mine, and hurt is buried within your soul. But here I am, I piss and whine. While you suffer in silence. You truly are a beautiful soul. One I seem to hurt. I am sorry but no one else suffices as I know I love you.
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