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The Sports Fanatic

By Elton Camp

No matter what’s going on or about to occur,
Bubba leaves no doubt it’s sports he does prefer
His desire to “follow the action” led him to get
An extravagant fifty-five-inch LED television set

He watches any available game both day and night
To dominant the set’s use he claims the sole right
Vital breaking news is being reported on CNN?
Too bad, the football game is just about to begin

Nobody in front of the screen is allowed to walk
And in the room, nobody is permitted even to talk
A strong tornado is bearing down on his town?
An emergency interruption and he begins to frown

The Weather Channel’s for that, he will angrily say
Why, that announcement made me miss the last play
Bubba is determined that he will fulfill his dream
And see every game of his favorite football team

If the money he can, in some way pull, together,
He’ll go in person no matter of distance or weather
He sits in the stands and loudly screams and cheers
While he smokes cigarettes and drinks many beers

For my part, I don’t see how such delight he finds
In watching some guys patting each other’s behinds
If sports for its existence came to be dependent on me
Then it is plumb out of luck that they’d come to be

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