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My mother tried to kill herself
But I could only wonder why
'cause anytime I ask her
She huffs and puffs and sighs

I would assume its because
Her life was really rough
Or because she feels guilty
For the way she damaged us

I grew up with fear
That everything would hurt me
All because my mother
Would hit me when I was thirsty.

Now I'm an adult
Who suffers from anxiety
I get nervous when people talk too loud
Because I'm so used to her screams at me

If someone slams a door
My heart starts to pound
Because when she would get angry
She'd slam the door and stomp the ground

Then eventually
That will lead
To me and my siblings
Obtaining her beatings

At the time, that was life for us
We didn't know much
We thought that was real love.

So I grew up
And Hit the ones I loved
Thinking that's how you show someone
Love; Through a punch.

Now that I'm finally starting to see the truth
My depression is getting worse
Because my conditioning is a fluke.

Now I must
Condition my self
to become
something so different

And if I don't
I'll end up alone
The devil is here
He's the only one who's listening

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