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Poem

How Many Gimmies Do You Get?

By Elton Camp

The story that I tell you is all too true
I used to get as many gimmies as you
Until finally there came to be the day
When that greedy game I wouldn’t play

An engraved invitation I was sent one year
About a distant cousin’s sweet little dear
Little Lulu’s kindergarten graduation is due
If you can’t come, we’d like a gift from you

Those weren’t just the words they selected
But I very well knew that a gift was expected
No matter that their brat I wouldn’t recognize
That minor fact didn’t stop gift-seeking tries

One time a “friend of a friend” had the gall
For me to attend their son’s wedding to call
They also included the URL of an online site
It meant, “This lists the gifts that will delight.”

But the one that produced the greatest surprise
Contained a name that I totally didn’t recognize
Next month, my high school diploma I’ll get
Don’t try to come because there’s no place to sit 

This is why I call “Gimmies” all such invitations
Because gifts are clearly the sender’s expectation
So when you think of “inviting” me, understand
The gimmie will go straight into the garbage can

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