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It begins with prayer as I kneel in my morning shower, first thanking God for all the blessings He has given to me, then I start listing those dear to me. I think of you, how much I love you, and your needs, I ask for strength and healing, ask for forgiveness if I have done anything to hurt you and tell God how I need you. It’s then that the tears start to flow as I let Him know how very important you are to me, why I feel helpless many times and am unable to help you. As I try to speak, my tears are coming down like the water in the shower, soon I can’t even see or speak. All I am now is a crying man, wanting God to help me, to help you, to heal you, to show me how to be your strong Knight, instead of someone just full of tears. Even if He allows us to stay together sometime in the future, I know at times I will be nothing but a crying man. Crying tears of Joy when you are here, crying tears of Woe when you are not. As you have been here recently I am doing both right now and love you too much to ever stop completely. My Lady Susan, this Knight is forever yours and will never leave your side… may God continue to have mercy on us both. 2010
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