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Trying Times

Can I maintain this life
Without begging Christ 
To save me 
From the life he gave me 
Can I walk to the plot
To where lays my father death spot
And stand over his grave 
His life is with me acknowledgement
I’m is daughter but I wasn’t with him his last dying days
Tears seem to not fall from my eyes 
Because I know emotion will not grow him back 
And the last words that utter from my mouth will be with me until the day that I’m 
dead they are now un-depart able bitter words that has now been said

They say Gods give you nothing you can’t bare 
Trying time he’s given me trying times is in me 

I dream of some better days 
As a young child proven educate with good grades
Wanted to be a woman at a young age 
Started working on my life 
Tried to blackout every thing in my life that went wrong 
Even as a minor I promise god that all my struggling was going to  make me 
strong
But lost in the mine set that I had no one to carry with me 
Turn my back on the people that had given me life 
Told  them I didn’t need them so forget their advice 
I broke them down to the same feeling that rooted  bitterness 
Spoke for me took hostage over my pride 
But each heart beat I wanted I wanted them to reach for me because all I wanted 
was to be their child 

They say Gods give you nothing you can’t bare 
Trying times he’s given me trying times is in me 

Fast I was moving 
Tried I was getting 
Still I wasn’t not going to stop 
Because I  will never give up 
I instill in myself as long as I don’t misused my body and educate my mine 
There was nothing that could harm me Nothing
Suddenly  everything that  I was reaching for turn around and ran from me
And for the first time in my life I wanted good to save me 
I barely stop myself from falling to my knees begging him to free me 
For now I could see 
My daddy deceased 
My mother sickly 
And soon I will be a woman 
For I will be no ones child 
I feel as if I’m not ready 

They say Gods give you nothing you cant bare
Trying time he’s given me trying times is in me
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