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In Praise of Women

By Elton Camp

How thankful I am for womankind.
Who for bearing babies are designed.
If all us men could the same to do,
There might be one, but never two.

It is a thought I cannot abide,
Having another person inside.
To think you, for months, are fated
To wake up each morning nauseated.

There’s nothing to do but to understand
Most of a year, your waist will expand.
And when about halfway done,
Baby starts to have much fun.

He must think it’s quite a trick
To give his mother a hard kick.
And still bigger, bigger grows he
Till mother out of balance will be.

Atop her bladder he does perch.
Up and down he likes to lurch.
To the bathroom she has to go
Most every time the kid does so.

If a baby stood on my bladder,
It would be a serious matter.
It wouldn’t feel so very neat
Being stomped by little feet.  

Then the baby begins to knock at the door.
“You can’t keep me inside here anymore.”
Female pelvis is made quite wide
Between the bones baby can slide.

Daddy’s broad at shoulder and narrow at hip
So there’s not enough room for a baby to slip.
And I now have this final word here to say:
It is just this, “For all women, a big hooray.”

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