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Here Lies Bob



Have you heard the sad, sad story,
Of this man in all his glory?
He said that he would never wed,
Now, too soon, he is dead.

No wife to cry, no kids either,
From this life, he takes a breather,
Would he do the same again,
Or simply say a soft “Amen?”

Was he right, was he wrong?
Does he now sing a song?
In a sea of girls he fished,
Giving them just what they wished.

He was kind, he was attentive,
At some things, he was inventive.
He could be counted on for laughter,
He got just what he was after.

He was always quite unfettered,
Women said he was not bettered.
At romance he stood alone,
For past sins, he did not atone.

Courtesy was his long suit,
He never lacked for a recruit,
To try out for a while,
Afterward, they would both smile.

He always said he'd have no wife,
Had he stuck to that, he'd still have life,
What he forgot to ask,
As if it were a real task,

Was, if his latest “friend” was married,
Now, he will be carried,
By six heartbroken men,
Who wished to be him, now and then.

If he'd asked, he would have found,
And he'd still be above the ground,
Was that she was very married,
And, that her husband tarried,

In the garage sometimes, when she thought he'd left,
And that he would often heft,
A gun that put out so much lead,
That anything would get dead,

If unlucky to get in the path,
'Tween the gun, and the lath,
So poor old Bob got plastered,
Practicing what he had mastered.

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