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Poem

You do not know this,
but there are nights
I willingly fall to the ground,
knocking the wind out of myself,
staring up into infinity,
wishing someone up there
would send you back to me,
As if I deserve it,
As if you still speak my name,
As if time could be conquered

Yet, I allow myself a fantasy,
A breath held for a memory,
In hopes of feeling innocent again,
For innocence became us in childhood,
Blood was unknown to me
For love flowed through my veins,
Heart pumping the shine of your smile
through my entire being in circulation,
Laughter is heard, as stars are seen,
Each twinkle holds a moment of us,

As time has torn us asunder,
Life has revealed new loves,
new loves inspired anger,
anger ensured your hatred of me,
Thus, I became what all now see,
A child changed to cynic,
A poet who hates emotions,
A man who desires no faith,
For nothing moves me now,
Yet my words still know you,


A million apologies failed,
No sense in repeating failure,
No reason to cry more tears
if none will show you my humanity,
My pain now motivates my attitude 
Thus, my soul is forever lost,
Despite the aforementioned change,
I still miss you daily, in misery,
with regret that lasts an eternity,

Hope for us, is my hope for heaven,
A paradise I have experienced before,
As I embrace the magic of the moment,
I briefly disregard my own logic,
hoping for an answer from nowhere,
For a chance to desire to change,
to see again, to trust again, 
Praying to a god I no longer believe in,
to protect you and never melt your wings,
for I could not recognize you any other way,

I repeat,
You did not know this,

Yet this lets me know,

Heaven or hell,
Life or death,
Angel or human,
God or no god,

I have my opinions,

Yet two truths are proven,

You are an angel to me,
and... I Love You.

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